So it's been a while since I have got to blogging. Just had lots of work to do and school started this week, so things got kinda ridiculous for about a week or so lol.
I went to see the doctor (yay!!), so far he is getting me to get blood tests done and I have a full physical coming up, so all the info I need will come from that appointment. I will update with that once it all happens :)
In discussion with my doctor about what I am going through he said some very important stuff, and I want to share that with all of you. This is not a pity party here at my blog, but sometimes it might sound like one, because the situation I am currently in, well, sucks. A LOT.
My doctor explained to me that it is VERY rare that people of my current size are able to lose the significant amount of weight needed to get healthy as well as keep it off. It is generally likened to Alcoholism by medical professionals, but unfortunately there are less success stories with weight loss, because we cannot abstain from food like alcoholics can from alcohol. The one thing that is killing us is also necessary to keep us alive.
He still feels that gastric bypass should stay on the table (FYI he claims that lap-bands are only 50% effective because they slip off). He also let me know it might even be easier to get a gastric bypass in Montreal. So I know that people close to me have their own beliefs about it, but I am relieved to hear that because I am scared I will not be able to do this on my own, and living like this cannot go on for much longer, so it is good to know I still have options. To my doctor the priority is to get the weight off, and get me healthy, and then deal with all the stuff that put it all on in the first place. He and I both know its only a band-aid, but sometimes you need to use one to stop the bleeding, before you can truly begin to heal.
(and that, my friends, is one of my famous analogies, I am known for these... I am so predictable :p LOL)
Regardless of his beliefs on the GB, he respects my stubborn need to try this on my own first. He suggests that I need to slow down on my sugar and fat intake before I stop completely. If I do it quickly I could lose more than just fat, but also important energy that I need for my body. So this is bittersweet news, it is great to know that I don't have to go on a complete crash diet, but at the same time slowing down requires A LOT of discipline, and as someone with an eating disorder, discipline is hard to come by... hopefully working with a psychologist will help me with this.
Now it all sounds kinda daunting, but near the end of the appointment I got a little nugget of hope. He told me that when people change their psychological view on food their chances of success greatly increase! Meaning my approach to this (finally) is the correct step. I have friends and family who are worried about me and want me to change my habits now, but I need to change my psyche before anything of true success will occur.
So my plan for this week is to find a reasonably priced psychologist who is trained to assist people with this specific type of problem.
I continue to de-clutter and organize my life... one thing I plan on doing today is cleaning off my desk, I am going to pretend it is a desk in my studio and I only want stuff on it that I am ok with my client seeing... so I plan to do that and laundry lol... yay for Fridays off school! :p lol